Myself:
Point of View:3
Evidence:3
Organization:2
Connections and Significance:1
Opposing view points:1
Communication Written:3
Total:13/24
There are many parts I am missing but I will add them in over the weekend. My organization isn't the best but that is another thing I will be working on.
Rachel:
Point of View:3
Evidence:3
Organization:3
Connections and Significance:4
Opposing view points:3
Communication Written:3
Total:19/24
Rachel,
I like what you have so far, Your paper has everything that it needs to have. There are some things that you can make stronger though.
If I were to be grading your paper at this moment I would give you a total of 19/24. For your point of view I gave you 3 points. I feel like what you have is interesting and well said but it doesn't seem to be "sharp". For the evidence I gave you 3 points; you cite many sources and explain what you found. I think that you should get more accurate evidence. For example in your first paragraph you talk about cell phones and how they help us connect with each other. You use a quote about how it helps business people but that just limits the people who actually have a career in business. If I were you I would find a quote about how someone used their cell phone when they were in need of help. That is something that seems to relate to everyone. For organization I would give you 3 points. The overall structure of the paper is very good. I feel like your thesis needs to be short and simple. Remember your thesis is what you are trying to prove in your paper. You want the reader to have that in mind the whole time they are reading your paper. If you keep it short and simple they will remember the main point of your paper better. For connections and significance I would give you a total of 4 points. I feel like you do a great job making comparisons between the two authors. Opposing view points I would give 3 points. You don't seem to use any quotes or any other type of evidence though. Written communication would be a 3 as well. I feel like if you read your paper aloud to your self then you would be able to catch many mistakes. Same goes for communication performance.
Great job so far though, I have not completed my revised draft so I was able to learn many new things while reading and grading yours.
Later,
Amber
Sunday, November 8, 2009
Friday, November 6, 2009
Hw 20
Essential Question: How has digital obsession affected our society?
Revised Thesis: The permeation of digital devices has massively affected the way
we live in a negative way.
We wake up in the morning get our daily coffee and catch the next train which will drop us by our destination. After getting there we realize that we left our most prized possession at home; our cell phone/laptop/I pod or any other electronic device. This is why the whole day becomes a “bad day” simply because this one item is missing from our life. But have we ever given any time to think about how these digital/electronic devices affect us and the way we live. They are creating us into robots; we rely on technology more than we rely on our family. Has this world gone mad? These materials have made us into completely different creatures; they have made our society different. They have made this whole planet different. Think about it, we didn’t use technology the way we do now ten years ago, so what happened? No answer, huh? The drastic permeation of digital devices has massively affected the way we live in a very negative way.
Technology is used without any limit which impacts us in a negative manner; this is because we simply rely on it too much since society causes us to do so. M.T. Anderson seems to think about this digital/electronic craze and how it has affected our society. He decided to write a book titled Feed to share his thoughts with others. After reading the book, it helps us get back on track and realize what is going on in front of us. We are living this life that is controlling us; we cannot live without our electronic equipment. Majority of the characters in Feed have a Feed hooked up to their brain. This is the most important part of their body; when something goes wrong with their Feed then they are in danger. One character named Violet gets to be the victim of this problem. She has a hacker that keeps messing with her Feed. This malfunctions with everything in her body, later on this leads to many problems. Her relationship with her boyfriend gets very messy. Her days are numbered, suddenly she is controlled by her electronic equipment (her Feed) and it controls many aspects of her life .When Violet is completely malfunctioned her ex boyfriend gives her a visit after lying to her about receiving her messages since he did not want to be in a relationship with her any longer. This is because her feed malfunction; it completely messed up their relationship together: “And for the first time, I started crying. I cried, sitting by her bed, and I told her the story of us. “It’s about the feed.” I said (297). Since Violet had a hacker hack into her Feed her life was ruined. She had nothing left; she had someone else that was controlling her life. This is exactly how we are living in this world; we are controlled by the digital devices that surround us. Without them we cannot seem to live. We seem to massively depend on these devices and cannot leave them behind. When we find ourselves without them we are in trouble. Even if we try to detach ourselves from the usage of such materials we are forced to use them by our society. Without the usage of these materials, it seems like our futures will be in jeopardy. This is true, because of this whole craze with digital/electronic media; everything seems to rely on the usage of these devices. If we do not have any contact with them then we will be putting ourselves in danger. For example, computers are the most common things out there. Everyone has to own a computer; in fact if you do not own a computer then you would be considered an outcast. Suddenly, applications are being filled out online, homework is being typed and students are goggling certain things for their research projects. For example many students that are applying to colleges fill out the Free Application for Federal Student Aid (FAFSA). In a website that answers questions about this form they give students the choice of filling it out by hand or online. “You have two choices when you fill out your Free Application for Federal Student Aid: online with FAFSA on the Web, or the old-fashioned way— on paper. FAFSA recommends that you save a tree and fill out the FAFSA online.” (http://www.universitylanguage.com/guides/fill-out-fafsa-online-or-on-paper/) They recommend that students fill out the application online, later on they state that applying online has the benefits of access to help, automatically checks errors, faster student aid report, more spaces to fit in college choices and more. When filling out applications and surveys online everything seems to run easily and smoothly. The society makes it even easier by adding all these benefits. They make it seem as if filling out the application by hand is an “old fashion” way of doing so. If a student were to fill out a FAFSA application they will be encouraged to do it online using their computer. This is never ending; even if we try to keep our distance from these devices our society doesn’t let us do so. We seem to be spending more time using these products rather than getting a full night of sleep. M.T. Anderson has predicted our future and so far it seems like he is right with how the way things will end up later on. Technology is taking over us and creating us into completely different creatures.
Not only do we use digital devices without limits, they can cause much harm to our health both mentally and physically. Digital/electronic media usage has really boosted up within a decade. When thinking about it, our society was very different a decade ago when being compared to the way it is right now. Society has molded us into these creatures that seem to be very different to what we are supposed to be like. These devices are just bought without having any research done. We see an ad and if it catches our eye then it’s ours no matter what happens. After bought, these devices are showed off to others to make them know that we are up to date with this digital/electronic craze. This makes the people you showed it off go out and purchase these devices and this chain keeps going on and on and on, until the product gets “old”. Nobody really knows how these devices have harmed us, mentally and physically. Spending some time doing research on these devices and how they harm us can really change ones decision when they are about to purchase this certain product. Cell phone radiation is a big concern and there are many health concerns associated with it. As of August 2005 there have been 2 billion cell phone users worldwide (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mobile_phone_radiation_and_health) , yet they seem to ignore this fact. This concern has raised the number of researches being done about the possibility of having health problem connected with cell phone usage. Some researches show that there are no risk factors present, but other researches show that they may cause tumors in certain nerves. One research claims when using a cell phone, radio waves are absorbed by the human head. These lead to harmful effects with memory, sleep, the brain, and many more. After reading such an article one may be very surprised because none of these risks are shown in ads or as warnings in packages when purchased. If cell phone usage stays the same way it is right now, in a couple of decades many users will have to suffer with health conditions caused by cell phone usage, they will regret it all. Looking at the way things are now, the usage of cell phones seem to be expanding more then ever. Another big health concern regards the usage of video games and how they affect gamers. There are many video gamers out there that are completely addicted to their favorite games. They want to reach the hardest level of the game and tell everyone else how they are the best at it. What they don’t realize is how all this gaming has been affecting them in a negative way. One study finds that males seem to be affected physically while females are affected mentally: “Female video-game players reported greater depression and lower health status than female nonplayers. Male video-game players reported higher BMI and more Internet use time than male nonplayers.” (http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2009/08/090818083224.htm) Obesity is very common for video gamers since we can see that they become lazy since they are sitting around and playing their game for hours. It’s not very common to hear that video games led to depression. After looking at this research there may be many reasons for why these females playing video games are depressed. When we think about it there may be many reasons, for example female characters in games may seem to be “attractive” and females playing the game may want to look like them. Another example is all the violence and nudity in games, these may not be appropriate for all players yet they do not care. These graphics may not be suitable for any player and it may cause them to be depressed. It all depends on the players past experiences, these graphics may bring back experiences in the past that they may not want to remember. All these digital devices affect the society in a negative way, from the “outside” they may look very appealing and something that will be depended on, but digging deeper we find that they do are not much good for us.
When using digital/electronic devices, we are in a state of disembodiment. Wall-E is an animated movie which is about a robot that is abandoned in our planet full of trash and litter. This movie attracts many young viewers because it looks “cute” and kid friendly, but there is much more behind it. When looking at every aspect of the movie, it shows us how our world will look like in the near future if things stay the same way they are right now. Our planet will be a useless pile of dump, and every living human will be aboard a spaceship which will include every digital/electronic equipment built. We will all be obese and sit in a power chair that will take us every where automatically. We will have no sense of where we stand; instead we will be chatting away with others on the screens provided in front of us. In the movie, Wall-E disturbs a lady named Mary who is chatting to a monitor while sitting on her power chair. At first she doesn’t seem to nudge at all; she is too busy talking to this screen. Some how Wall-E makes the screen in front of her disappear. This is when the lady realizes that he is trying to talk to her. She then realizes where she is at and all the amenities that surround her. “I didn’t know we had a pool” Mary states. (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0910970/quotes) Even though this scene is ten seconds long, it really shows how disembodied she is. She has no sense of where she is, the digital/electronic materials surrounding her are enough to keep her alive. This connects to how we are living in our world. We are always watching television, texting away on our cell phones and type away on our computers. We are always in a state of disembodiment and never even realize it. Another example from this movie is when Wall-E enters the space ship and seems to be amazed when he sees all the digital and electronic media surrounding him. He is very confused at first, but later on it excites him. Since he doesn’t have a power chair like all the others do, he is on his own feet. He is very different compared to the others since everyone there is being transported by the power chairs. While he is walking around he bumps into a guy that is sitting on his power chair. He falls off the chair and cant get up; when Wall-E helps him he states his name and the man is very confused and seems to be out of it at the time. He has a very confused face on and mutters his name: “Uh hmmm, my name is John” (Wall-E). This is exactly what happens day to day in our society. We will be walking by and when we bump into someone that is typing away on their black berry they are very confused and do not know how to respond. They are completely in a state of disembodiment. They do not know what’s going on around them. They just know what is going on in the screen in front of them. We ignore each other because we are too busy with these devices which we depend on way too much. We have no control on ourselves, we seemed to be controlled by them. This is not good for us because we are becoming too dependent on them and we cannot detach ourselves from what is going on. We cannot sense our surroundings, yet we seem to only look at what is in front of us. We are lost in another world but seem to appear to other people even if we are not mentally there at all.
The permeation of digital devices has massively affected the way we live in a negative way. We rely on technology without any limits, technology causes us mental and physical harm, it also causes us to be in a state of disembodiment. Reviewing all these points, this argument can be proven correct. When asking others how has digital obsession affected our society? What will their response be? Many say that it has been affecting us in a negative way. Others say that it has done us a lot of good. Then there are those that have no idea where they stand. All sides have good arguments, but what is the right answer to this question. The only way to find out is if we stick around long enough to see for our selves.
Works Cited:
Feed by M.T. Anderson
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mobile_phone_radiation_and_health
Wall-E directed by Andrew Stanton
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0910970/quotes
http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2009/08/090818083224.htm
http://www.universitylanguage.com/guides/fill-out-fafsa-online-or-on-paper/
CONNECTIONS, SIGNIFICANCE AND OPPOSING VIEWPOINTS WILL BE ADDED SOON
Revised Thesis: The permeation of digital devices has massively affected the way
we live in a negative way.
We wake up in the morning get our daily coffee and catch the next train which will drop us by our destination. After getting there we realize that we left our most prized possession at home; our cell phone/laptop/I pod or any other electronic device. This is why the whole day becomes a “bad day” simply because this one item is missing from our life. But have we ever given any time to think about how these digital/electronic devices affect us and the way we live. They are creating us into robots; we rely on technology more than we rely on our family. Has this world gone mad? These materials have made us into completely different creatures; they have made our society different. They have made this whole planet different. Think about it, we didn’t use technology the way we do now ten years ago, so what happened? No answer, huh? The drastic permeation of digital devices has massively affected the way we live in a very negative way.
Technology is used without any limit which impacts us in a negative manner; this is because we simply rely on it too much since society causes us to do so. M.T. Anderson seems to think about this digital/electronic craze and how it has affected our society. He decided to write a book titled Feed to share his thoughts with others. After reading the book, it helps us get back on track and realize what is going on in front of us. We are living this life that is controlling us; we cannot live without our electronic equipment. Majority of the characters in Feed have a Feed hooked up to their brain. This is the most important part of their body; when something goes wrong with their Feed then they are in danger. One character named Violet gets to be the victim of this problem. She has a hacker that keeps messing with her Feed. This malfunctions with everything in her body, later on this leads to many problems. Her relationship with her boyfriend gets very messy. Her days are numbered, suddenly she is controlled by her electronic equipment (her Feed) and it controls many aspects of her life .When Violet is completely malfunctioned her ex boyfriend gives her a visit after lying to her about receiving her messages since he did not want to be in a relationship with her any longer. This is because her feed malfunction; it completely messed up their relationship together: “And for the first time, I started crying. I cried, sitting by her bed, and I told her the story of us. “It’s about the feed.” I said (297). Since Violet had a hacker hack into her Feed her life was ruined. She had nothing left; she had someone else that was controlling her life. This is exactly how we are living in this world; we are controlled by the digital devices that surround us. Without them we cannot seem to live. We seem to massively depend on these devices and cannot leave them behind. When we find ourselves without them we are in trouble. Even if we try to detach ourselves from the usage of such materials we are forced to use them by our society. Without the usage of these materials, it seems like our futures will be in jeopardy. This is true, because of this whole craze with digital/electronic media; everything seems to rely on the usage of these devices. If we do not have any contact with them then we will be putting ourselves in danger. For example, computers are the most common things out there. Everyone has to own a computer; in fact if you do not own a computer then you would be considered an outcast. Suddenly, applications are being filled out online, homework is being typed and students are goggling certain things for their research projects. For example many students that are applying to colleges fill out the Free Application for Federal Student Aid (FAFSA). In a website that answers questions about this form they give students the choice of filling it out by hand or online. “You have two choices when you fill out your Free Application for Federal Student Aid: online with FAFSA on the Web, or the old-fashioned way— on paper. FAFSA recommends that you save a tree and fill out the FAFSA online.” (http://www.universitylanguage.com/guides/fill-out-fafsa-online-or-on-paper/) They recommend that students fill out the application online, later on they state that applying online has the benefits of access to help, automatically checks errors, faster student aid report, more spaces to fit in college choices and more. When filling out applications and surveys online everything seems to run easily and smoothly. The society makes it even easier by adding all these benefits. They make it seem as if filling out the application by hand is an “old fashion” way of doing so. If a student were to fill out a FAFSA application they will be encouraged to do it online using their computer. This is never ending; even if we try to keep our distance from these devices our society doesn’t let us do so. We seem to be spending more time using these products rather than getting a full night of sleep. M.T. Anderson has predicted our future and so far it seems like he is right with how the way things will end up later on. Technology is taking over us and creating us into completely different creatures.
Not only do we use digital devices without limits, they can cause much harm to our health both mentally and physically. Digital/electronic media usage has really boosted up within a decade. When thinking about it, our society was very different a decade ago when being compared to the way it is right now. Society has molded us into these creatures that seem to be very different to what we are supposed to be like. These devices are just bought without having any research done. We see an ad and if it catches our eye then it’s ours no matter what happens. After bought, these devices are showed off to others to make them know that we are up to date with this digital/electronic craze. This makes the people you showed it off go out and purchase these devices and this chain keeps going on and on and on, until the product gets “old”. Nobody really knows how these devices have harmed us, mentally and physically. Spending some time doing research on these devices and how they harm us can really change ones decision when they are about to purchase this certain product. Cell phone radiation is a big concern and there are many health concerns associated with it. As of August 2005 there have been 2 billion cell phone users worldwide (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mobile_phone_radiation_and_health) , yet they seem to ignore this fact. This concern has raised the number of researches being done about the possibility of having health problem connected with cell phone usage. Some researches show that there are no risk factors present, but other researches show that they may cause tumors in certain nerves. One research claims when using a cell phone, radio waves are absorbed by the human head. These lead to harmful effects with memory, sleep, the brain, and many more. After reading such an article one may be very surprised because none of these risks are shown in ads or as warnings in packages when purchased. If cell phone usage stays the same way it is right now, in a couple of decades many users will have to suffer with health conditions caused by cell phone usage, they will regret it all. Looking at the way things are now, the usage of cell phones seem to be expanding more then ever. Another big health concern regards the usage of video games and how they affect gamers. There are many video gamers out there that are completely addicted to their favorite games. They want to reach the hardest level of the game and tell everyone else how they are the best at it. What they don’t realize is how all this gaming has been affecting them in a negative way. One study finds that males seem to be affected physically while females are affected mentally: “Female video-game players reported greater depression and lower health status than female nonplayers. Male video-game players reported higher BMI and more Internet use time than male nonplayers.” (http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2009/08/090818083224.htm) Obesity is very common for video gamers since we can see that they become lazy since they are sitting around and playing their game for hours. It’s not very common to hear that video games led to depression. After looking at this research there may be many reasons for why these females playing video games are depressed. When we think about it there may be many reasons, for example female characters in games may seem to be “attractive” and females playing the game may want to look like them. Another example is all the violence and nudity in games, these may not be appropriate for all players yet they do not care. These graphics may not be suitable for any player and it may cause them to be depressed. It all depends on the players past experiences, these graphics may bring back experiences in the past that they may not want to remember. All these digital devices affect the society in a negative way, from the “outside” they may look very appealing and something that will be depended on, but digging deeper we find that they do are not much good for us.
When using digital/electronic devices, we are in a state of disembodiment. Wall-E is an animated movie which is about a robot that is abandoned in our planet full of trash and litter. This movie attracts many young viewers because it looks “cute” and kid friendly, but there is much more behind it. When looking at every aspect of the movie, it shows us how our world will look like in the near future if things stay the same way they are right now. Our planet will be a useless pile of dump, and every living human will be aboard a spaceship which will include every digital/electronic equipment built. We will all be obese and sit in a power chair that will take us every where automatically. We will have no sense of where we stand; instead we will be chatting away with others on the screens provided in front of us. In the movie, Wall-E disturbs a lady named Mary who is chatting to a monitor while sitting on her power chair. At first she doesn’t seem to nudge at all; she is too busy talking to this screen. Some how Wall-E makes the screen in front of her disappear. This is when the lady realizes that he is trying to talk to her. She then realizes where she is at and all the amenities that surround her. “I didn’t know we had a pool” Mary states. (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0910970/quotes) Even though this scene is ten seconds long, it really shows how disembodied she is. She has no sense of where she is, the digital/electronic materials surrounding her are enough to keep her alive. This connects to how we are living in our world. We are always watching television, texting away on our cell phones and type away on our computers. We are always in a state of disembodiment and never even realize it. Another example from this movie is when Wall-E enters the space ship and seems to be amazed when he sees all the digital and electronic media surrounding him. He is very confused at first, but later on it excites him. Since he doesn’t have a power chair like all the others do, he is on his own feet. He is very different compared to the others since everyone there is being transported by the power chairs. While he is walking around he bumps into a guy that is sitting on his power chair. He falls off the chair and cant get up; when Wall-E helps him he states his name and the man is very confused and seems to be out of it at the time. He has a very confused face on and mutters his name: “Uh hmmm, my name is John” (Wall-E). This is exactly what happens day to day in our society. We will be walking by and when we bump into someone that is typing away on their black berry they are very confused and do not know how to respond. They are completely in a state of disembodiment. They do not know what’s going on around them. They just know what is going on in the screen in front of them. We ignore each other because we are too busy with these devices which we depend on way too much. We have no control on ourselves, we seemed to be controlled by them. This is not good for us because we are becoming too dependent on them and we cannot detach ourselves from what is going on. We cannot sense our surroundings, yet we seem to only look at what is in front of us. We are lost in another world but seem to appear to other people even if we are not mentally there at all.
The permeation of digital devices has massively affected the way we live in a negative way. We rely on technology without any limits, technology causes us mental and physical harm, it also causes us to be in a state of disembodiment. Reviewing all these points, this argument can be proven correct. When asking others how has digital obsession affected our society? What will their response be? Many say that it has been affecting us in a negative way. Others say that it has done us a lot of good. Then there are those that have no idea where they stand. All sides have good arguments, but what is the right answer to this question. The only way to find out is if we stick around long enough to see for our selves.
Works Cited:
Feed by M.T. Anderson
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mobile_phone_radiation_and_health
Wall-E directed by Andrew Stanton
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0910970/quotes
http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2009/08/090818083224.htm
http://www.universitylanguage.com/guides/fill-out-fafsa-online-or-on-paper/
CONNECTIONS, SIGNIFICANCE AND OPPOSING VIEWPOINTS WILL BE ADDED SOON
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
Hw 19
Rachel,
You use a lot of evidence from different websites that help convey your message and your thoughts about this topic.
You feel like technology helps us connect faster with each other, video games help us with our hand eye coordination, and viewing television helps stimulate our minds.
Even though I feel like you have many good points that help defend your thesis, my thoughts are very different when compared to yours. I feel like this is all impacting our society in a negative way like I stated before. Even though technology does help us connect with each other faster, we cannot limit ourselves and the amount of time we are using these technological devices. They are always testing our patience and we cannot seem to live without them simply because we rely on them too much. Also with playing video games and watching television we are only supposed to do that when we have nothing else to do, which is never. I feel like we have become addicted to them and they take away precious time. We may be challenging our self playing a video game but how will this help us in the future? In a job interview will they ask us what level of a certain game we have gotten up to? It’s simply just for entertainment, nothing else at all.
I think that you do a great job letting out all your ideas, but I think that they should flow together better. I feel as if you just wrote down all your thoughts and ideas, which is absolutely fine for a rough draft. When writing your final draft you should build up to your evidence “tie in” the quote then defend your arguments.
While reading your paper I get to understand your point of view on this topic and where we have similar thoughts and where they differ.
It was nice seeing you work off your outline.
Later,
Amber M.
Remy SB has not posted her rough draft ... I will make comments as soon as it is posted up...
You use a lot of evidence from different websites that help convey your message and your thoughts about this topic.
You feel like technology helps us connect faster with each other, video games help us with our hand eye coordination, and viewing television helps stimulate our minds.
Even though I feel like you have many good points that help defend your thesis, my thoughts are very different when compared to yours. I feel like this is all impacting our society in a negative way like I stated before. Even though technology does help us connect with each other faster, we cannot limit ourselves and the amount of time we are using these technological devices. They are always testing our patience and we cannot seem to live without them simply because we rely on them too much. Also with playing video games and watching television we are only supposed to do that when we have nothing else to do, which is never. I feel like we have become addicted to them and they take away precious time. We may be challenging our self playing a video game but how will this help us in the future? In a job interview will they ask us what level of a certain game we have gotten up to? It’s simply just for entertainment, nothing else at all.
I think that you do a great job letting out all your ideas, but I think that they should flow together better. I feel as if you just wrote down all your thoughts and ideas, which is absolutely fine for a rough draft. When writing your final draft you should build up to your evidence “tie in” the quote then defend your arguments.
While reading your paper I get to understand your point of view on this topic and where we have similar thoughts and where they differ.
It was nice seeing you work off your outline.
Later,
Amber M.
Remy SB has not posted her rough draft ... I will make comments as soon as it is posted up...
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Hw 18
Essential Question: How has digital obsession affected our society?
Revised Thesis: The drastic permeation of digital devices has massively affected the way
we live in a very negative way.
We wake up in the morning get our daily coffee and catch the next train which will drop us by our destination. After getting there we realize that we left our most prized possession at home; our cell phone/laptop/I pod or any other electronic device. This is why the whole day becomes a “bad day” simply because this one item is missing from our life. But have we ever given any time to think about how these digital/electronic devices affect us and the way we live. They are creating us into robots; we rely on technology more than we rely on our family. Has this world gone mad? These materials have made us into completely different creatures; they have made our society different. They have made this whole planet different. Think about it, we didn’t use technology the way we do now ten years ago, so what happened? No answer, huh? The drastic permeation of digital devices has massively affected the way we live in a very negative way.
M.T. Anderson seems to think about this digital/electronic craze and how it has affected our society. He decided to write a book titled Feed to share his thoughts with others. After reading the book, it helps us get back on track and realize what is going on in front of us. We are living this life that is controlling us; we cannot live without our electronic equipment. Majority of the characters in Feed have a Feed hooked up to their brain. This is the most important part of their body; when something goes wrong with their Feed then they are in danger. One character named Violet gets to be the victim of this problem. She has a hacker that keeps messing with her Feed. This malfunctions with everything in her body, later on this leads to many problems. Her relationship with her boyfriend gets very messy. Her days are numbered, suddenly she is controlled by her electronic equipment (her Feed) and it controls many aspects of her life. This relates to how we seem to massively depend on these devices and cannot seem to leave them behind. When we find ourselves without them we are in trouble. Even if we try to detach ourselves from the usage of such materials we are forced to use them by our society. Without the usage of these materials, it seems like our futures will be in jeopardy. This is true, because of this whole craze with digital/electronic media; everything seems to rely on the usage of these devices. If we do not have any contact with them then we will be putting ourselves in danger. For example, computers are the most common things out there. Everyone has to own a computer; in fact if you do not own a computer then you would be considered an outcast. Suddenly, applications are being filled out online, homework is being typed and students are goggling certain things for their research projects. This is never ending; even if we try to keep our distance from these devices our society doesn’t let us do so. We seem to be spending more time using these products rather than getting a full night of sleep. M.T. Anderson has predicted our future and so far it seems like he is right with how the way things will end up later on.
Digital/electronic media usage has really boosted up within a decade. When thinking about it, our society was very different a decade ago when being compared to the way it is right now. Society has molded us into these creatures that seem to be very different to what we are supposed to be like. These devices are just bought without having any research done. We see an ad and if it catches our eye then it’s ours no matter what happens. After bought, these devices are showed off to others to make them know that we are up to date with this digital/electronic craze. This makes the people you showed it off go out and purchase these devices and this chain keeps going on and on and on, until the product gets “old”. Nobody really knows how these devices have harmed us, mentally and physically. Spending some time doing research on these devices and how they harm us can really change ones decision when they are about to purchase this certain product. Cell phone radiation is a big concern and there are many health concerns associated with it. As of August 2005 there have been 2 billion cell phone users worldwide, yet they seem to ignore this fact. This concern has raised the number of researches being done about the possibility of having health problem connected with cell phone usage. Some researches show that there are no risk factors present, but other researches show that they may cause tumors in certain nerves. One research claims when using a cell phone, radio waves are absorbed by the human head. These lead to harmful effects with memory, sleep, the brain, and many more. After reading such an article one may be very surprised because none of these risks are shown in ads or as warnings in packages when purchased. If cell phone usage stays the same way it is right now, in a couple of decades many users will have to suffer with health conditions caused by cell phone usage, they will regret it all. Looking at the way things are now, the usage of cell phones seem to be expanding more then ever. This is why it looks like this is impacting us in a negative way.
Wall-E is an animated movie which is about a robot that is abandoned in our planet full of trash and litter. This movie attracts many young viewers because it looks “cute” and kid friendly, but there is much more behind it. When looking at every aspect of the movie, it shows us how our world will look like in the near future if things stay the same way they are right now. Our planet will be a useless pile of dump, and every living human will be aboard a spaceship which will include every digital/electronic equipment built. We will all be obese and sit in a power chair that will take us every where automatically. We will have no sense of where we stand; instead we will be chatting away with others on the screens provided in front of us. In the movie, Wall-E disturbs a lady that is chatting to a monitor while sitting on her power chair. At first she doesn’t seem to nudge at all; she is too busy talking to this screen. Some how Wall-E makes the screen in front of her disappear. This is when the lady realizes that he is trying to talk to her. She then realizes where she is at and all the amenities that surround her. “I didn’t know we had a swimming pool” she states. Even though this scene is ten seconds long, it really shows how disembodied she is. She has no sense of where she is, the digital/electronic materials surrounding her are enough to keep her alive. This connects to how we are living in our world. We are always watching television, texting away on our cell phones and type away on our computers. We are always in a state of disembodiment and never even realize it. Another example from this movie is when Wall-E enters the space ship and seems to be amazed when he sees all the digital and electronic media surrounding him. He is very confused at first, but later on it excites him. Since he doesn’t have a power chair like all the others do, he is on his own feet. He is very different compared to the others since everyone there is being transported by the power chairs. While he is walking around he bumps into a guy that is sitting on his power chair. He falls off the chair and cant get up; when Wall-E helps him he states his name and the man is very confused and seems to be out of it at the time. He has a very confused face on and mutters his name. This is exactly what happens day to day in our society. We will be walking by and when we bump into someone that is typing away on their black berry they are very confused and do not know how to respond. They are completely in a state of disembodiment. They do not know what’s going on around them. They just know what is going on in the screen in front of them. We ignore each other because we are too busy with these devices which impacts how we interact with each other in a negative manner.
The drastic permeation of digital devices has massively affected the way we live in a very negative way. Reviewing all these points, this argument can be proven correct. When asking others how has digital obsession affected our society? What will their response be? Many say that it has been affecting us in a negative way. Others say that it has done us a lot of good. Then there are those that have no idea where they stand. All sides have good arguments, but what is the right answer to this question. The only way to find out is if we stick around long enough to see for our selves.
Works Cited:
• Feed by M.T. Anderson
• http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mobile_phone_radiation_and_health
• Wall-E directed by Andrew Stanton
Revised Thesis: The drastic permeation of digital devices has massively affected the way
we live in a very negative way.
We wake up in the morning get our daily coffee and catch the next train which will drop us by our destination. After getting there we realize that we left our most prized possession at home; our cell phone/laptop/I pod or any other electronic device. This is why the whole day becomes a “bad day” simply because this one item is missing from our life. But have we ever given any time to think about how these digital/electronic devices affect us and the way we live. They are creating us into robots; we rely on technology more than we rely on our family. Has this world gone mad? These materials have made us into completely different creatures; they have made our society different. They have made this whole planet different. Think about it, we didn’t use technology the way we do now ten years ago, so what happened? No answer, huh? The drastic permeation of digital devices has massively affected the way we live in a very negative way.
M.T. Anderson seems to think about this digital/electronic craze and how it has affected our society. He decided to write a book titled Feed to share his thoughts with others. After reading the book, it helps us get back on track and realize what is going on in front of us. We are living this life that is controlling us; we cannot live without our electronic equipment. Majority of the characters in Feed have a Feed hooked up to their brain. This is the most important part of their body; when something goes wrong with their Feed then they are in danger. One character named Violet gets to be the victim of this problem. She has a hacker that keeps messing with her Feed. This malfunctions with everything in her body, later on this leads to many problems. Her relationship with her boyfriend gets very messy. Her days are numbered, suddenly she is controlled by her electronic equipment (her Feed) and it controls many aspects of her life. This relates to how we seem to massively depend on these devices and cannot seem to leave them behind. When we find ourselves without them we are in trouble. Even if we try to detach ourselves from the usage of such materials we are forced to use them by our society. Without the usage of these materials, it seems like our futures will be in jeopardy. This is true, because of this whole craze with digital/electronic media; everything seems to rely on the usage of these devices. If we do not have any contact with them then we will be putting ourselves in danger. For example, computers are the most common things out there. Everyone has to own a computer; in fact if you do not own a computer then you would be considered an outcast. Suddenly, applications are being filled out online, homework is being typed and students are goggling certain things for their research projects. This is never ending; even if we try to keep our distance from these devices our society doesn’t let us do so. We seem to be spending more time using these products rather than getting a full night of sleep. M.T. Anderson has predicted our future and so far it seems like he is right with how the way things will end up later on.
Digital/electronic media usage has really boosted up within a decade. When thinking about it, our society was very different a decade ago when being compared to the way it is right now. Society has molded us into these creatures that seem to be very different to what we are supposed to be like. These devices are just bought without having any research done. We see an ad and if it catches our eye then it’s ours no matter what happens. After bought, these devices are showed off to others to make them know that we are up to date with this digital/electronic craze. This makes the people you showed it off go out and purchase these devices and this chain keeps going on and on and on, until the product gets “old”. Nobody really knows how these devices have harmed us, mentally and physically. Spending some time doing research on these devices and how they harm us can really change ones decision when they are about to purchase this certain product. Cell phone radiation is a big concern and there are many health concerns associated with it. As of August 2005 there have been 2 billion cell phone users worldwide, yet they seem to ignore this fact. This concern has raised the number of researches being done about the possibility of having health problem connected with cell phone usage. Some researches show that there are no risk factors present, but other researches show that they may cause tumors in certain nerves. One research claims when using a cell phone, radio waves are absorbed by the human head. These lead to harmful effects with memory, sleep, the brain, and many more. After reading such an article one may be very surprised because none of these risks are shown in ads or as warnings in packages when purchased. If cell phone usage stays the same way it is right now, in a couple of decades many users will have to suffer with health conditions caused by cell phone usage, they will regret it all. Looking at the way things are now, the usage of cell phones seem to be expanding more then ever. This is why it looks like this is impacting us in a negative way.
Wall-E is an animated movie which is about a robot that is abandoned in our planet full of trash and litter. This movie attracts many young viewers because it looks “cute” and kid friendly, but there is much more behind it. When looking at every aspect of the movie, it shows us how our world will look like in the near future if things stay the same way they are right now. Our planet will be a useless pile of dump, and every living human will be aboard a spaceship which will include every digital/electronic equipment built. We will all be obese and sit in a power chair that will take us every where automatically. We will have no sense of where we stand; instead we will be chatting away with others on the screens provided in front of us. In the movie, Wall-E disturbs a lady that is chatting to a monitor while sitting on her power chair. At first she doesn’t seem to nudge at all; she is too busy talking to this screen. Some how Wall-E makes the screen in front of her disappear. This is when the lady realizes that he is trying to talk to her. She then realizes where she is at and all the amenities that surround her. “I didn’t know we had a swimming pool” she states. Even though this scene is ten seconds long, it really shows how disembodied she is. She has no sense of where she is, the digital/electronic materials surrounding her are enough to keep her alive. This connects to how we are living in our world. We are always watching television, texting away on our cell phones and type away on our computers. We are always in a state of disembodiment and never even realize it. Another example from this movie is when Wall-E enters the space ship and seems to be amazed when he sees all the digital and electronic media surrounding him. He is very confused at first, but later on it excites him. Since he doesn’t have a power chair like all the others do, he is on his own feet. He is very different compared to the others since everyone there is being transported by the power chairs. While he is walking around he bumps into a guy that is sitting on his power chair. He falls off the chair and cant get up; when Wall-E helps him he states his name and the man is very confused and seems to be out of it at the time. He has a very confused face on and mutters his name. This is exactly what happens day to day in our society. We will be walking by and when we bump into someone that is typing away on their black berry they are very confused and do not know how to respond. They are completely in a state of disembodiment. They do not know what’s going on around them. They just know what is going on in the screen in front of them. We ignore each other because we are too busy with these devices which impacts how we interact with each other in a negative manner.
The drastic permeation of digital devices has massively affected the way we live in a very negative way. Reviewing all these points, this argument can be proven correct. When asking others how has digital obsession affected our society? What will their response be? Many say that it has been affecting us in a negative way. Others say that it has done us a lot of good. Then there are those that have no idea where they stand. All sides have good arguments, but what is the right answer to this question. The only way to find out is if we stick around long enough to see for our selves.
Works Cited:
• Feed by M.T. Anderson
• http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mobile_phone_radiation_and_health
• Wall-E directed by Andrew Stanton
Monday, November 2, 2009
Hw 17
Hey Remy,
I like your essential question and thesis. The thesis seems to be “fit” and is stated as if it is a fact; I am sure Andy will appreciate this.
You will be using many sources in your paper which will do you lots of good. Some of these sources will be from video sites such as youtube, and others may be from famous plays.
These ideas connect with what others have to say about digitalization and our media. Even if readers do not agree they will be able to give it some time and think about the idea.
I think that you should have actually started to write you paragraphs for the outline. You just seem to bullet point random sources and ideas, which seem to confuse me a bit. That’s why the only things I really like so far are the EQ and thesis. Next time for an outline you should try to write in complete sentences so I can get a better idea of what you are aiming for and be able to give you better feedback.
After looking at your thesis, I agree I should make my thesis stronger so that the reader can see where I stand. I feel like my thesis is very weak for such a big topic that I will be discussing in my paper.
I look forward to reading full sentences in your paper lol.
Later,
Amber M.
ANDREW HAS NOT POSTED ANYTHING UP YET...SO I AM COMMENTING ON RACHEL'S OUTLINE
Rachel,
I like your opposing point of view. Many people feel as if this digital craze is affecting us in a negative way. After reading your outline I see you have some good points which will hopefully stand out better in your actual paper.
You feel like modern technology helps us interact with each other in a much less time consuming manor. Video games seem to help us stimulate our minds, and watching television helps us think more deeply about what is actually being viewed.
Compared to your outline, my views on this topic are completely different. I feel that even though digital devices help us connect with each other faster, they are depended on a lot, which is not a good thing. I feel like even though video games do stimulate our minds we cannot limit ourselves and how long we use them. The same thing goes for television viewing; many of the things that are on there will not help us in the near future, yet we seem to stare at it all day.
I think that you have some really interesting points in your outline. You can make it better by having a more “tight” thesis; I feel like you are saying too many things and it just lost me and I forget what your main point is. You should also use examples of what you are trying to prove so that the reader will have a better understanding of what you are trying to say.
After reading your outline it makes me think more about my views on this topic and how it relates to yours. We seem to be on the same page here but are directed in to a different pathway.
I look forward to reading your ideas in your paper.
Ttyl,
Amber M.
I like your essential question and thesis. The thesis seems to be “fit” and is stated as if it is a fact; I am sure Andy will appreciate this.
You will be using many sources in your paper which will do you lots of good. Some of these sources will be from video sites such as youtube, and others may be from famous plays.
These ideas connect with what others have to say about digitalization and our media. Even if readers do not agree they will be able to give it some time and think about the idea.
I think that you should have actually started to write you paragraphs for the outline. You just seem to bullet point random sources and ideas, which seem to confuse me a bit. That’s why the only things I really like so far are the EQ and thesis. Next time for an outline you should try to write in complete sentences so I can get a better idea of what you are aiming for and be able to give you better feedback.
After looking at your thesis, I agree I should make my thesis stronger so that the reader can see where I stand. I feel like my thesis is very weak for such a big topic that I will be discussing in my paper.
I look forward to reading full sentences in your paper lol.
Later,
Amber M.
ANDREW HAS NOT POSTED ANYTHING UP YET...SO I AM COMMENTING ON RACHEL'S OUTLINE
Rachel,
I like your opposing point of view. Many people feel as if this digital craze is affecting us in a negative way. After reading your outline I see you have some good points which will hopefully stand out better in your actual paper.
You feel like modern technology helps us interact with each other in a much less time consuming manor. Video games seem to help us stimulate our minds, and watching television helps us think more deeply about what is actually being viewed.
Compared to your outline, my views on this topic are completely different. I feel that even though digital devices help us connect with each other faster, they are depended on a lot, which is not a good thing. I feel like even though video games do stimulate our minds we cannot limit ourselves and how long we use them. The same thing goes for television viewing; many of the things that are on there will not help us in the near future, yet we seem to stare at it all day.
I think that you have some really interesting points in your outline. You can make it better by having a more “tight” thesis; I feel like you are saying too many things and it just lost me and I forget what your main point is. You should also use examples of what you are trying to prove so that the reader will have a better understanding of what you are trying to say.
After reading your outline it makes me think more about my views on this topic and how it relates to yours. We seem to be on the same page here but are directed in to a different pathway.
I look forward to reading your ideas in your paper.
Ttyl,
Amber M.
Sunday, November 1, 2009
Hw 16
Essential Question: How has digital obsession affected our society?
Thesis: Within a couple of years, our society has made a drastic change on how much we depend on digital/electronic media.
Argument 1: Feed and how it relates to our society
Feed by M.T. Anderson talks about how the digital media has totally changed us and the way we live. Majority of the characters in Feed have a Feed hooked up to their brain. This is the most important part of their body; when something goes wrong with their Feed then they are in danger. We seem to massively depend on these devices and cannot seem to leave them behind. When we find ourselves without them we are in trouble. Even if we try to detach ourselves from the usage of such materials we are forced by our society to do so. Without the usage of these materials, it seems like our futures will be in jeopardy.
Argument 2: Informal research articles
After doing some research on certain digital/electronic materials there was some troubling information found. A commonly used device like cell phones can cause users much harm. It causes radiation to the brain and this can lead to many dangerous side effects to the skin, sleep, heart and many more areas. This shows that even if these materials seem to cause harm to us if not now then right away, we don’t care at all. This shows how the digital/electronic devices have totally made us risk our health just by using them.
Argument 3: Wall-E
Watching that 10 minute clip in class showed so much in so little time. Looking at the world Wall-E lived in was exactly how our world will start to look like soon if everything keeps going the same way it is right now. Much of the planet will be filled with trash and be crawling around with insects. It will be hard to recognize how it will look in some time from now. Characters in the movie that were on aboard the spaceship were completely lost in their own world. They were all in a state of disembodiment; this was caused by the power chairs with the screens in front of them. They were all chatting away with other people; at one point Wall-E distracts one individual and the screen disappears in front of her. This is when she realizes what kind of environment she is surrounded in. Before that she had no idea where she was; the digital products kept her entertained.
Conclusion:
The digital obsession has affected our society in many different ways. For some these may be good, for others these may lead us into many problems in the very near future.
Thesis: Within a couple of years, our society has made a drastic change on how much we depend on digital/electronic media.
Argument 1: Feed and how it relates to our society
Feed by M.T. Anderson talks about how the digital media has totally changed us and the way we live. Majority of the characters in Feed have a Feed hooked up to their brain. This is the most important part of their body; when something goes wrong with their Feed then they are in danger. We seem to massively depend on these devices and cannot seem to leave them behind. When we find ourselves without them we are in trouble. Even if we try to detach ourselves from the usage of such materials we are forced by our society to do so. Without the usage of these materials, it seems like our futures will be in jeopardy.
Argument 2: Informal research articles
After doing some research on certain digital/electronic materials there was some troubling information found. A commonly used device like cell phones can cause users much harm. It causes radiation to the brain and this can lead to many dangerous side effects to the skin, sleep, heart and many more areas. This shows that even if these materials seem to cause harm to us if not now then right away, we don’t care at all. This shows how the digital/electronic devices have totally made us risk our health just by using them.
Argument 3: Wall-E
Watching that 10 minute clip in class showed so much in so little time. Looking at the world Wall-E lived in was exactly how our world will start to look like soon if everything keeps going the same way it is right now. Much of the planet will be filled with trash and be crawling around with insects. It will be hard to recognize how it will look in some time from now. Characters in the movie that were on aboard the spaceship were completely lost in their own world. They were all in a state of disembodiment; this was caused by the power chairs with the screens in front of them. They were all chatting away with other people; at one point Wall-E distracts one individual and the screen disappears in front of her. This is when she realizes what kind of environment she is surrounded in. Before that she had no idea where she was; the digital products kept her entertained.
Conclusion:
The digital obsession has affected our society in many different ways. For some these may be good, for others these may lead us into many problems in the very near future.
Monday, October 26, 2009
Treasure Hunting: Hw 15
Hey Andrew,
It was interesting to read about the different researches you did on gamming websites. You like to play on your Xbox 360 and enjoy watching videos on youtube about gaming as well.
Your favorite game of all time is Gears of War 2 and you like to look at your stats on the game. You like the concept of playing against others online and you like to compare your skills on Gears of War 2 with other players.
This connects to other video gamers like you. For example my younger brother also likes to play video games on his PSP. He always wants the latest basketball game out there. Like you, he finds these games very interesting and interacting. It’s actually funny how much time and money one can spend on video gaming just for their own entertainment. A lot of gamers out there do not care at all about the cost of the games or the game counsel. They just take the material up to the cash register, take out their wad of cash or credit card and return to their sanctuary to open up the package and set up the contents. After that it’s all about whose better at playing the game. It’s as if they are hypnotized when purchasing these things; they don’t give a damn about the price. They just want to play the game.
I think that you did a good job on expressing your ideas for homework 10, but you seem to be missing homework’s 11, 12 ,13 and 14. You should post those up soon because that could affect your grade a lot. I am interested in reading more about your thoughts and ideas for each of the homework assignments. One thing you can improve on for homework 10 is maybe do some research on the affects of video games on gamers. Also compare video gamers to TV viewers or people on social networking websites.
After reading your thoughts, I want to go out and buy myself an Xbox 360 and start playing Gears of War 2. I have never played it before and now I want to find out what it’s like to play the actual game. I have heard a lot about it by reading your post.
Well it was nice to read about you and your gaming, till next time.
Amber M.
Remy,
I found it nice to read your post. You have a lot of thoughts to express in many ways. You use many examples from the real world and movies which help your thoughts brighten up the reader.
To you parallels in Feed are accurate at times and not at others. You use the example of the Swine flu issue to talk about the phenomenon of hype. You use the example of The Titanic to show your readers how we seem to ignore signs at first, but go around screaming our heads off when something hits us hard.
This connects to many other parallels to Feed. In my post I talked about how getting lesions connects to getting plastic surgery. Also how we are always in the need of new products. Many people want to get plastic surgeries so that they can become more “attractive” or look more like a favorite celebrity. In Feed they are always coming across advertisements trying to sell them different materials or the latest thing out there. In our world today we are known for the latest product, and who has which since technology gets better and better day by day.
To sum it up I liked reading your post. To make it better I think that you should have connected the points of Feed to your own life and how you differ or have similarities with it. Also I think you have some assignments missing, you should post those up so it won’t impact your grade much.
After reading about your thoughts on Feed, it makes me consider the points you came across. I agree with most of what you had to say, and this gave me new ideas to build off of as well. Like the Swine Flu and Titanic examples.
It was nice to look at your ideas; I look forward to seeing more.
Amber M.
It was interesting to read about the different researches you did on gamming websites. You like to play on your Xbox 360 and enjoy watching videos on youtube about gaming as well.
Your favorite game of all time is Gears of War 2 and you like to look at your stats on the game. You like the concept of playing against others online and you like to compare your skills on Gears of War 2 with other players.
This connects to other video gamers like you. For example my younger brother also likes to play video games on his PSP. He always wants the latest basketball game out there. Like you, he finds these games very interesting and interacting. It’s actually funny how much time and money one can spend on video gaming just for their own entertainment. A lot of gamers out there do not care at all about the cost of the games or the game counsel. They just take the material up to the cash register, take out their wad of cash or credit card and return to their sanctuary to open up the package and set up the contents. After that it’s all about whose better at playing the game. It’s as if they are hypnotized when purchasing these things; they don’t give a damn about the price. They just want to play the game.
I think that you did a good job on expressing your ideas for homework 10, but you seem to be missing homework’s 11, 12 ,13 and 14. You should post those up soon because that could affect your grade a lot. I am interested in reading more about your thoughts and ideas for each of the homework assignments. One thing you can improve on for homework 10 is maybe do some research on the affects of video games on gamers. Also compare video gamers to TV viewers or people on social networking websites.
After reading your thoughts, I want to go out and buy myself an Xbox 360 and start playing Gears of War 2. I have never played it before and now I want to find out what it’s like to play the actual game. I have heard a lot about it by reading your post.
Well it was nice to read about you and your gaming, till next time.
Amber M.
Remy,
I found it nice to read your post. You have a lot of thoughts to express in many ways. You use many examples from the real world and movies which help your thoughts brighten up the reader.
To you parallels in Feed are accurate at times and not at others. You use the example of the Swine flu issue to talk about the phenomenon of hype. You use the example of The Titanic to show your readers how we seem to ignore signs at first, but go around screaming our heads off when something hits us hard.
This connects to many other parallels to Feed. In my post I talked about how getting lesions connects to getting plastic surgery. Also how we are always in the need of new products. Many people want to get plastic surgeries so that they can become more “attractive” or look more like a favorite celebrity. In Feed they are always coming across advertisements trying to sell them different materials or the latest thing out there. In our world today we are known for the latest product, and who has which since technology gets better and better day by day.
To sum it up I liked reading your post. To make it better I think that you should have connected the points of Feed to your own life and how you differ or have similarities with it. Also I think you have some assignments missing, you should post those up so it won’t impact your grade much.
After reading about your thoughts on Feed, it makes me consider the points you came across. I agree with most of what you had to say, and this gave me new ideas to build off of as well. Like the Swine Flu and Titanic examples.
It was nice to look at your ideas; I look forward to seeing more.
Amber M.
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